To be honest I was considering whether to write about this or not.
I have mentioned before that crossdressing is just like any other hobby, where people with a shared interest chat, meet up and participate in the activity that brings them so much joy. However, there is one major difference which sets it apart. The unfortunate reality is that when we crossdress, we take on a female name and persona of our own creation. Isabelle is my creation and my circle of friends who crossdress also know me as Isabelle. Although the thoughts and experiences I share with others in my chats, as well as my blog posts are true, I am ultimately still hiding behind a facade; no one really knows my real name, what I do for a living, as well as other aspects of my life. Such a separation of male and female lives is my isolation by design, and a strategy that many other crossdressers also adopt. This is because, it allows me to completely cut-off all ties should the need arise. Because the risk of my secret hobby being made known via another party (intentionally or accidentally) to relatives, other circle of friends or worse, colleagues, is too high for me to bear. Like any other friendship, circumstances can turn it sour. In especially bad scenarios, it can become hateful. Crossdressing is quite a superficial hobby and many who partake have different priorities, objectives and complicated life-stories. I've heard way too many stories of animosity developing over time within the community and in the same chat groups due to differing views or plain cattiness. As a fair amount of private info can be shared within such groups, being too open would increase my risk profile. I cannot fathom the regret I would feel if someone were to out me to my relatives/friends/colleagues. Even if such an action would brand the person a pariah, the damage would be done.
As such, even if someone is willing to open up to me or share their personal phone numbers, I usually find it hard to reciprocate, since our risk profiles are different. The other party may already be out of the closet, careless with secrets, single (and thus do not need go worry about partners), or worse; catfishing. Whereas I'm only out to my wife and plan to keep this delicate balance for the rest of my life. I generally don't chat with or add profiles on social media that cannot be corroborated with other known crossdressers in the community, don't show their faces, or hide behind heavily AI-edited photos (i'm looking at you FaceApp). The irony is that if my younger self were to reach out to my current self now, I may very likely ignore my younger self (oops).
This behaviour might be viewed as being uppity by some for not replying to messages/chats or accepting friend/follow requests on Facebook or Instagram, but I simply cannot adopt a careless attitude with regards to privacy.
That said, it is possible to have close friends within the community. I've seen some groups in the community who spend a lot more time together than with their other circle of friends and hanging out not only to crossdress, but to enjoy other aspects of each other's friendship. This is really great and comforting to see. Friendships is more than just a shared hobby. Hopefully in your journey, you find your own close knit group of friends.
