2024 has been a tumultuous year, but despite the ups and downs, I think it has been a net positive overall.

Work has been largely frustrating for the first half of the year, leading me to seek out a more stressful but perhaps more rewarding role. So far it seems promising, so fingers crossed there.

Relationship with my Wife came so very close to the precipice. Fortunately the foundation we built over the years helped to hold it all together. It took a while and many, many tears, but we managed to become more honest with each other and ourselves. While still a work in progress, we are now able to communicate at a level that we have never been able to do before. Home is stable and I am extremely thankful for that.

My mental state has been generally terrible this year, as described in earlier posts. Dissociating happens a lot in order for me to continue functioning. But through the emotional roller coaster ride, the pensive thoughts, I've become a bit more in touch with my emotions. I'm learning how to reach through the layers of bubble wrap to connect with feelings other than rage, impatience and envy. I've broadened my emotional vocabulary that allows me to better describe why I feel a certain way. I'm still working on being less self-critical and learning to love myself despite my flaws.

I still don't see Isabelle in the mirror and get "sir-ed" consistently by random people I meet (which sucks). Granted, my polo-tee and berms look definitely screams "Singaporean Uncle", but it would be nice to see the occasional confused look in people's eyes. Currently I still feel like an imposter and not confident enough to present female without makeup.

My new home is finally taking shape. Renovation delays despite my best efforts meant that I cannot move in by the end of the year, but I'm almost near the finish line. Which means a larger safe space for me to express myself a bit more.

2024 was a hectic year. 2025 is already promising to start off blazing with action. But I am holding to hope. With some time and luck, Isabelle might regain confidence to finally show herself more regularly.